Turn on the light!!

Turn on the light

Albus Dumbledore said that. A man of whimsical wisdom, he was. He dealt with great tragedy early on in his life, which continued to shape him throughout his many years. He was well-known for his brilliance and his ability to see value in everyone, “however apparently insignificant or wretched,” as wrote his good friend Elphias Doge in his obituary. He was able to see things others couldn’t, and seemed to always have a plan behind the scenes that no one realized till the very end. He fought evil, pursued the greater good, and always believed, sometimes to his ridicule, in the potent power of love.

He has a number of quotes worth sharing, including, “It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities,” “We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy,” and “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,” among many others. But this one in particular caught my fancy, perhaps because for a long time, I didn’t quite understand it.

I first came across in its original context as I was reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,* in which I first took it to be merely one of Dumbledore’s typical tidbits: witty and whimsical and throwaway. After all, this is the man who when called upon to “say a few words” declared “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” In fact, his comments were some of my favorite parts of the entire series. Wise, quirky, and vaguely portentous-sounding.

But later, it gave me pause.

Because we’ve all been through dark places, right? Maybe you’re in one now. Maybe it doesn’t look like there’s a way out, doesn’t feel like there ever will be. Maybe it’s the loss of a job, difficulties at home, that final word from someone you thought you loved. Maybe it’s abandonment, maybe it’s rejection, maybe it’s failure. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s doubt, maybe it’s anxiety, maybe it’s pain, maybe it’s hopelessness, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s just plain weariness of living the same cycle over and over and over again.

Maybe it’s something big, and maybe it’s something small. Maybe it’s something that you know feels bigger than it is but you can’t help but only see the mountain, and its shadow stretching for miles. It’s only an uphill climb, and your legs feel like lead, and just when you’re about to reach the end an avalanche sends you right back to where you started.

You ever feel this way?

I know I have.

Maybe it’s not a struggle of circumstance. Maybe it’s a struggle on the inside. Maybe, like me, your struggle, your habitual sin, your addiction is pride, or envy, or lust, or criticism, or irritableness, or anger, or selfishness, or malcontent, or entitlement, or malice, or gossip, or deceit, or hatred, or quarreling, or maybe it’s something else, something you’re scared to name. Maybe it’s something you feel like you can’t stop, or that you’ve been trying to stop and sometimes you think you’ve finally arrived but then you spiral right back down again the second you think you’ve won.

Maybe the reason for that is that you’re trying to fight on your own.

I know that’s what I tend to do a lot of the time. I put the burden of my sin on my shoulders, coming up with a list of all my errors and brainstorming millions of methods to fix myself. Except…I can’t. I’m never good enough. Ever. Nothing I do, it never amounts to anything in the long run. I never get anywhere, I’m never “fixed.”

Then, finally, I go to the last place I have left.

John 6:66-69 says,

From this time, many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.
So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?”
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and come to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

To whom shall we go?

Isn’t that a question? We can go to our friends. Our partner. Our pills. Our media. Our Internet. Our default. Our distractions. The thing that makes us forget, the thing that makes us not care, the thing that takes the pain away.

Does it, though? Does it really take the pain away?

In the Tenth Avenue North song “We Won’t Numb the Pain” there’s  a segment that says, “We want a cure, not a medication.” I might be young, but there’s one thing I have learned in life: there’s only one cure. There’s only one way to kill the darkness.

And that is to turn on the Light.

Psalm 50:2 (this is another great Psalm to read, on the power of God) says,

Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth!

1 John 1:5 reiterates,

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you: that God is Light, and in him there is no darkness at all.

Light reveals, light leads, light purifies, light comforts. This light–this light heals. It restores. It makes whole. It satisfies the searchers, it completes the broken, it comforts the hurting, it says, “I Am enough. My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

What a beautiful concept.

When Moses, before the burning bush, requested the Name of God, that he might tell the people by whom he was sent, he received two words: I AM.

I Am. I Am Light. I Am Love. I Am Power. I Am Life. I Am the Way. I Am the Truth. I Am Grace. I Am Might. I Am Strength. I Am Enough. I Am the Rock. I Am your Refuge. I Am your Shield. I Am your Comforter. I Am Pure. I Am Holy. I Am Sovereign. I Am the Lord of the Universe. I Am the Maker of the Stars. I Am the Painter of the Sunsets. I Am the Namer of your Soul. I Am the Weaver of your Heart. I Am the Sculptor of your Mind. I Am the One who Knows, who Understands, who Guides, who Strengthens, who Loves, who Pursues, who Reigns, who is Worthy. I Am God.

He is God. Sometimes we use that word so much it loses it’s meaning. He is God.

Don’t lose that. Don’t forget, in the darkness, who calls you to the light. Don’t forget who isn’t just some distant force out there in space, who isn’t running away from you, who’s not trying to make you stumble but to draw you to himself.

Don’t forget who God is. And don’t forget to turn on the Light.

Bre

dumbledore

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STRESSED?

Yeah, me too.

For those of you who missed the memo, it’s Holy Week. If you’re anything like me, though, you’ve been feeling anything but holy. The last few days, I’ve been under a lot of stress from in a lot of different areas of my life. Sadly, it not only leaves me frustrated, exhausted, and irritable, but it doesn’t leave a lot of time for things like, oh, I don’t know, actually stopping to breathe?? Let alone prayer, meditation, Scripture. Or sleep, for that matter.

Once school let out, that helped. But it’s been a rough week, and things aren’t looking to let up anytime soon. I have a long list of things that worry me, of pressures I stagger under, of expectations I struggle to meet, of demands that gobble up my time, energy, and willpower. So much so that it wasn’t until Friday that I suddenly realized: this was the day that Jesus died.

This was the day that Jesus died.

What do you say to that? How do you respond? It’s so ironic that we call it “Good Friday,” when for anyone around when it happened, this was defeat.

The cross was not a symbol of hope, of victory, or of faith. The cross was a brutal instrument of torturous execution, and for anyone who believed in Jesus, it was a sign of hopelessness, of defeat, and of loss. It meant that the man who they thought would be the One had died, and they had lost everything.

They had given everything to follow Jesus. They had left their homes, their families, their livelihoods, their reputations, their possessions far behind. And now he was dead.

And no one would be surprised if they were next.

And think of Jesus. How false the cheers of the crowd must have felt on Palm Sunday, when he knew that the same ones would be calling for his crucifixion just a few days later. Even at the Last Supper, his disciples still didn’t get it. What it must have taken to wash Judas’ feet and hours later receive his condemning kiss. His cries to God in the garden, under so much pressure that he was sweating blood.

How long it took. Trial after trial, flogging after flogging, the mocking cries echoing in his ears before finally, they put him on the cross, and he hung for hours, slowly asphyxiating.

And it was finished. Finally, it was finished.

And death had won. Satan had won. The Son of God was dead.

What if that were the end of the story?

Thank God it wasn’t.

The ground began to shake, the stone was rolled away–his perfect love could not be overcome! Now death, where is your sting?? Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated!

Nothing makes Easter matter more than wondering what if it hadn’t happened. The resurrection was bold, defiant, and triumphant. Christ has overcome! We have overcome! In the moment when all seemed lost–out of that came the whole point.

The resurrection is not a moment of “yay, Jesus is alive, clap-clap-clap, let’s go eat chocolate eggs!” No, the resurrection is a moment of power, when God showed once and for all who is in control. It’s a moment of defiance, of the powers of darkness that hold this world captive. The resurrection is not an event by itself–it’s powerful because Jesus. Was. Dead. Death is final. But…he is alive! Unstoppable, unfathomable, unbeatable love, standing tall in a white fire.

It’s humbling. And it’s awe-inspiring. It’s insane, really, that he should love me that much. I know I sure don’t deserve it, not me.

The disciples didn’t know he would rise again. Now he’s left us–but again, it is not forever. He’s coming back. Do you believe it?